Ok Listen. We had Just kilt all the men in the camp and was preparin’ to head to the dwarves to see what they might help do with the slaves, when all the sudden a huge face appears in the dirt. Now Bjorn and Padric was standin’ right over the mouth. That’s the look we had on our faces too. So I figer you can guess what happened. Yep it swallered them two into the ground. We was like, What in the hell?! Then Lorick gets all distraught and runs over with his shovel and starts diggin’ fer them fellas. Well it seem perty clear to Al and me that they was gone so we head over and have to calm Lorick down. He finally realizes that we was right so he stopped and we continued with our previous plan.
So the dwarves let us bed down in their caverns for a couple days, while we all rested up, and we made a deal with em to help fix up an old abandoned town for the new freed slaves. There was a lot of particulers that I didn’t have much dealin with and then we decided to head on. Our next destination was to see if we could locate them witches we seen way back at the start and see how they was feelin’ about the Lions Hammer and whatnot. So we learn of an entrance at the bottom of the volcano instead a’ havin’ to climb up the outside and a bridge that would get us across the croc filled moat.
So as we is headin’ down the cave it comes to a fork. One path goes up and one path goes down. So after we figer for a few minutes we decide to go up so we turn that direction, but when I turn around Al and Lorick was goin’ down. I was saying to myself what in the hell is going on? Didn’t we just decide to go this way? Anyhow so I says that to them and they plain ignore me. So I think well maybe they decided to go the other way when I didn’t hear. Im mean what the hell do I know?
So we come outta the tunnel into a large cave area and Ill be damned if a rock door didn’t slide in place behind us. Gee, I shoulda seen that comin’. So the floor of the cavern is covered in different colored feathers. That’s right..feathers! Then suddenly some crackly voice speaks in a language I cant understand and Lorick’s light goes out. So Lorick lights it up again and the voice makes it go out again. So lorick lights it up again….you see a pattern developin’ here? Anyhow then all the sudden a dagone rope drops from above. We look at each other and was like Pfft. So Lorick throws a lighted rock up so we might see whats up there, but he throws like a damn girl so it don’t go no farther than Jiminy’s pecker was long and we still cant see shit.
So Lorick decides hes gonna climb up, but half way to the top he slips and falls. I think he broke a couple short ribs when he hit but luckily for hisself he was able to heal hisself. But then Lorick says hey since we are locked in here with no way out, why dond’t I fill the place with water and we’ll swim up while holdin’ the rope. Now at first that sound batshit crazy, but then I was like what the hell it cant be no worse than one of Bjorn’s sermons.
‘bout the time Lorick starts shootin’ water outta his finger a dadblamed bird creature swoops down and tries to whack him with a hammer or somethin’. We was all duckin’ when a second one came down to take a swing, but they musta both been trained by Al cause they weren’t even close. So I says screw this and I let fly a volley of arrows and brought one of them down. The other one skedaddles of course.
Then Lorick starts fillin’ the room again and we float up to the ledges. Turns out there’s a nest up there with some eggs in it. I think Lorick gets a guilty feelin’ cause he covers the eggs to keep em warm, but when him and Al crawl out the exit hole I snatched me one of them eggs and chunked it in my pack and then followed. When I was able to stand again we was in another tunnel, of course with a fork. One winding path went up and another down. So we decide to go up and ill be damned if we didn’t actually do what we said this time and went up. Course when we got there we was standing in front of a door and it was locked. Lorick sensed some magic on the door and then Al tried to pick the lock, but couldn’t do it. So we turn tail and head back down. Well when we get down there we are standin’ in front of another damned door. It wouldn’t budge, but then Al points out that me and Lorick is standin’ on a trap door.
When we open the trap door there’s a ladder, so we climb down to…you guessed, another door. However once we go thru that door we was standing right at the entrance to the dagone forge of the volcano. I said Shit fire and save torches, what the hell are we to do now. Well Lorick suddenly hollers to a nearby guard that one of the slaves, who is chained up at the closest of the forges, aint pullin’ his weight. Well that guard agreed and smashed that fellers head on the forge. Then Lorick looks like he’s seen his mommas bare nekid backside and turns and walks out and closes the door behind him. Me and Al look at each other like what the hell? Then Al turns and starts sneakin’ off to the right. Now we didn’t make no dadblamed plan here so I just says to myself hell I’ll go to the left and see if theres a way out. There was three forges and three large chambers. The first chamber I come to is some sort of slave housin’ and there is a stinky moat thing around part of it, which I figer is just dead folk turned to jelly, so I git. The next chamber is chalk full of cages stacked up with slaves in em and a couple Lions Hammer guards and six damn Cyclops. We just couldn’t get away from those damn things. However in the back of the chamber was another tunnel.
When I get near the third chamber there is a couple guards out front and some commotion goin’ on inside. I think hmmm this is the way Al went and that dirty rascal prolly got hisself into a pickle. Then all the sudden a couple more guards came out and shut the door and lock it. Then they start grabbin’ tubes that is connected to the flues on the forges and they start stickin em under the door. Now I start thinkin’ that aint good and I take a swing with my sword at one of the guards. ‘bout that time Lorick comes up, and seems his old self again, and tells the guards to cool it. I’ll be damned if they didn’t do what he said and I was thinkin’, Huh.
So one of the guards calls for Al to come out peaceful like, but when the door opened a bunch a dagone slaves come out wavin’ swords and hollerin’ and shit. Then it started to become chaos and I turn toward the second chamber, thinkin’ about that tunnel, and I yell this way is out! I start runnin’ toward the second chamber, with I thought was everyone in tow. One of the Cyclops comes out to see the commotion and run past em. Course the no one else does and they start fightin’ the thing. So I turn around to help and realize Lorick and Al aint here. Its just me and the slaves. So we take down the Cyclops, but then I realize another is comin’ fer me from behind. Now I know that sounds a bit suspect, but aint what yer thinkin’. So I turn to face the creature, alone I might add, and give the thing a solid slash. However them are big boys and that shot didn’t even make it flinch. Well it swings its club and whalops me good, so I do what every stalwart warrior facing a Cyclops would do, and tucked tail and run. My miscalculation was in that those dirty bastards got long arms and legs and are hard to outrun. So I see Lorick and Al and I figer I’ll get up with them and together we can take the rest. However as I was runnin’ I felt that rascal thump me again……….
I don’t know it just stopped working.
You broke it!
Holy shit Pa is gonna skin us!
Lets get outta here!